Money Matters: Picture this: You kick your feet up after spending the last hour reviewing your most recent debt payoff successes and planning this months budget, which includes a plan to start knocking out paying off your car early…

Your Mom calls with an unexpected medical bill that she isn’t sure how she is going to handle.

Suddenly, your best laid plans have flown out the window and you’re left with nothing but frustration on the obstacle in front of you; trying to put your family ahead while supporting the needs of your older parents.

Survey says: More than half of midlife adults gave money to their aging parents last year. Over 20% gave more than $5,000, according to AARP.

That’s not groceries. That’s major financial support on top of your own mortgage, childcare, car payment, and student loans.

A 2024 NerdWallet report found:

• 36% of Americans expect their parents will need financial help

• 14% are already stressed about their parents’ financial situation

• 1 in 5 families are supporting both kids and aging parents

You’re not failing. You’re navigating a system that wasn’t designed for this much overlap.

But here’s the good news: You can find balance—and still make real progress.

Here is what on that portioned plate today:

🧠 Why This Is a Common Crisis (You’re Not Alone)
💪 6 Step Family Framework to Help Parents and Your Wallet
✅ Wrap-up Checklist to Stay Balanced
🤷‍♀️ What’s up for next week

Let’s make sure that helping Mom and Dad doesn’t mean saying goodbye to your own debt-free dreams.

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📜Quote

“You’re not your parents’ retirement plan.”
— Jean Chatzky, financial journalist & founder of HerMoney

Today’s Main Event

The 6-Step Family Framework

Let’s be honest: this isn’t about finding a magic hack. It’s about building a plan that keeps you on track without letting your parents fall behind.

Secure Your Own Oxygen Mask First

You have to be stable in order to be in a position to help. Trying to help while living on an unstable financial foundation is a recipe for not only yours, but also your parents disaster.

Cover your essentials before helping anyone else:

• Rent or mortgage

• Utilities

• Food

• Minimum debt payments

• A small emergency fund (aim for $500–1,000 to start)

If you're drowning in interest payments, look into consolidating or refinancing high-interest debt. Freeing up $200 a month in interest could mean more breathing room to help Mom or Dad without skipping your debt payoff goals.

Remember, if you burn out your own finances, you’ll have fewer options to help later.

Have the Hard Money Talks Early

If you haven't already, sit down with your parents for a calm, clear money conversation.

Ask these questions:

• What are your current monthly expenses?

• What income do you have (pensions, Social Security, etc.)?

• Do you have any savings or long-term care insurance?

• Are there recurring medical, housing, or debt needs?

This isn’t just about numbers—it’s about expectations. If your parent is hoping you’ll start covering everything, now is the time to reset the narrative.

Also: discuss power of attorney, healthcare proxy, and future care plans while everyone’s still clear-headed. One hour now can prevent six months of family stress later.

Create a Realistic Support Budget

Once you know what your parents need and what you can afford, build a “support” line into your monthly budget.

A few models that work:

• A fixed monthly amount (e.g., $150/month for groceries or prescriptions)

• Coverage for one specific area (e.g., utility bills or medication, but not rent or debt)

• Temporary assistance for one-time events (e.g., medical bill, home repair)

Set a review date every 3–6 months so expectations don’t creep beyond what’s sustainable.

Keep this separate from your emergency fund. And remember: you’re offering help—not becoming their retirement plan.

Assemble the Team

If you have siblings, cousins, or extended family, it’s time to coordinate.

Make a list of what needs doing and assign roles:

• Medical advocacy

• Financial contributions

• Legal paperwork

• Emotional support or daily check-ins

Can’t get family to chip in financially? Ask them to step up in other ways—driving to appointments, handling errands, or researching care options.

If you're an only child, tap into local community and nonprofit resources:

• Area Agencies on Aging

• Faith-Based Senior Support Networks

• Local Caregiver Relief Programs

Make Sure They’re Getting Every Dollar They’re Eligible For

Your parents might qualify for help they’re not using.

Start with BenefitsCheckUp.org, a free tool from the National Council on Aging. It scans hundreds of programs based on your parent’s location, income, and needs.

Look into:

• Medicare Extra Help (prescription costs)

• Medicaid (for low-income seniors)

• VA Aid and Attendance (for US Veterans)

• SNAP and Utility Relief Programs

• Discounted Transportation or Meal Services

Each dollar they save is one less dollar you need to send.

Bonus: If they have long-term care insurance, check for activation triggers. Many families miss out because they don’t know when or how to file.

Protect Your Energy Like It’s a Line Item

Taking care of other can be exhausting especially when you’re already running care for your own household.

You might be managing your budget, your job, your kids—and now your parents’ finances too. That’s a full-time job on its own.

Carve out time for your own well-being:

• 30 minutes of daily quiet time

• Bi-weekly check-ins with a friend or therapist

• Join an online caregiver support group

Setting emotional boundaries doesn’t mean you love your parents less—it means you’re protecting your ability to show up for the long haul.

Wrap-Up: The Family Budget Balance Checklist

You might be managing your budget, your job, your kids—and now your parents’ finances too. That’s a full-time job on its own.

Carve out time for your own well-being:

• 30 minutes of daily quiet time

• Bi-weekly check-ins with a friend or therapist

• Join an online caregiver support group

Setting emotional boundaries doesn’t mean you love your parents less—it means you’re protecting your ability to show up for the long haul.

✅ Wrap-Up: The Family Budget Balance Checklist

Screenshot this, stick it to the fridge, or add it to your notes app:

✔️ Pay your essentials and protect your credit

✔️ Have the financial talk with your parents before crisis hits

✔️ Define a “support budget” that fits your current income

✔️ Revisit that number every few months

✔️ Involve siblings or community support when possible

✔️ Ensure your parents are enrolled in all eligible aid programs

✔️ Set time and emotional boundaries so you can stay strong

You’re not alone. You’re doing your best and you don’t have to choose between helping your parents and helping yourself.

Until Next Time

What’s Up Next Week

Hopefully that helps those of you out there stepping up and helping your parents as they age.

Next week we are back and Jimmy is tackling “ Budgeting for Your Auto Expenses“.

Thanks as always for reading and let us know how we did with the quick survey below.

Until next Time!

Peace out, Hootsquad 🦉

—Nico

DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.